A FAREWELL LETTER FROM A GENIUS
Gabriel Garcia Marquez, famous writer from Colombia ( familiarly known as “Gabo” in his native country), and Nobel prize winner for literature in 1982, has retired from public life for reasons of health. He has a form of cancer which is terminal. He has sent a farewell letter to his friends and it has been circulated around the Internet.
It is recommended reading because it is moving to see how one of the best and most brilliant of writers expresses himself & with sorrow. The following slides will show what he says…
Avrils experience…
I have taken some time to put my thoughts on paper regarding this terrible creature that has invaded our lives. Viv has been on at me to let people know how I feel and how I have coped with the knowledge and the experience. The reason for my stagnant response I can only put down to the fact that for a long while I was numb and would not accept that this had happened to us at such an ideal time of our lives. We had successfully moved our company and 90% of our staff to a foreign country where the weather is glorious most of the time and the pressure of city life faded into a distant memory. The company have all taken to their new lives with enthusiasm and sometimes I think they love it here more than we do. Our dream home which has been in the planning for a minimum of 5 years, first in Spain which turned into a disaster and then here where we have had countless ups and downs with planning permissions etc., has finally been approved. The apartments we had in London all sold within 6 months and one of them wasn’t even on the market! The land in Spain, which we had to abort building on, also sold. What a wonderful place we have arrived at in our lives we thought? ……
I believe I am not unique in this numbing situation. I believe that it is a self-preservation tactic that the mind takes on when it is threatened with something too big to digest. My first thoughts were I have to say, for myself. There is no other way of putting it and not because I do not love Viv with all my heart but that it is another human failing. We panic and in that panic we look for answers of how we will live if this person is not there? How will we manage on our own? Who will be there for help and advice? Financially what will happen to us? Selfish questions, that relate to our own preservation. Someone once said “Tears are cried for words unsaid”, and when I heard this saying many years ago I could relate to the grief one sees when tragedy strikes, because we cry for ourselves. But I digress. The point I am trying to make is, it is natural to think of ones self first but when this passes as it did with me, rather quickly, my main thoughts were to get a solution to a problem.
My family have had the misfortune of being blighted with this terrifying disease in a few different forms. My mother died at 60 with leukaemia, my uncle had it in his kidneys and my cousin has been battling with it for some time now but happily I have been told that she is in remission after being told there was little hope. So my first point of reference was my family. I very seldom see them because we live on opposite ends of the globe but the advice, love and support they have given Viv and I can not be put into words. Then there was the Internet, which only confused and also frightened us. Tips started coming in from friends and friends of friends and then there was the backbone of information and help, the Doctors, and your own common sense. Medicine has come such a long way, even from the time my mother suffered some 15 years ago, we felt we had to go the conventional route but I do believe that alternative medicine also plays a part in healing so we tried to introduce elements of this also.
Viv has kept you all in the loop as to his weekly thoughts, treatments and the people who have been there to help him through this so I will not go into anymore detail there but on the day he had his last treatment I took a picture of him leaving the clinic for the final time. I got an E-mail from Viv’s eldest daughter much concerned that he looked very thin and while I was replying to this mail I thought this would be a good time to let all the people we have met and all of those we have not physically met but have come to know a little from their visits to Viv’s web site know how I felt and dealt with this awful creature.
In the doctor’s opinion you need to lead as normal a life as possible and keep your mind active. I am not sure if he knew what was normal for us? Viv goes away on location to shoot pictures at least once a month. Unfortunately being in an ideal place to live does not mean it is the ideal place to travel from or get to and a simple flight to Budapest for instance takes about 12 hours with a few flight changes. He had schedules to keep and therefore still had to shoot pictures while his strength eked away due to the treatment and lack of substantial food intake. Never the less Viv would not let the side down and through out the treatment he kept to his timetable to deliver on time.
The doctor at the clinic wrote a post on the web site for Viv and if you get a chance to have a look, it touched Viv and I immensely and gave Viv a boost to an otherwise flagging moral.
The treatment works after the fact for at least three months and although he is past the, three-month period, the effects are still very much with him. He is so tired of feeling ill and exhausted and most of all he is irritated by the fact that his taste is taking longer than he expected to come back. His temper and patience are short and this also upsets him because he knows he shouldn’t be like this especially since he has been given another crack at living life to the full all be it with a little more care of his body and health.
The support and attention we have had here is beyond words. We know that we have been one of the lucky ones to come through this. We live to appreciate the wonderful people we have met, and return the love we have come to rely on from family and our friends.
This is a man with a will of steel. I saw it every day when he forced what ever I put in front of him down his raw throat. I can understand why people give up eating altogether and have to be put on a feeding tube. But not Viv! Living so close to someone you are inclined not to see these special traits or we take them for granted but the letters we have got from clients and friends alike have let us know that this special person has made an impression on them even in a fleeting introductory moment. Our family are all loved by this special person, we are just so lucky or maybe blessed would be a better word, and those that he has taken to be his friends know that they have their own corner in his life.
We have celebrated scaling and reaching the summit of this mountain with all its crags and perils but we will be weary of what lies ahead and not take for granted our immense good fortune. We came through this with the help and endless assistance of our Doctor, Specialists and wonderful staff in every medical area we had to visit. We cannot find the words to thank them all enough.
Something my mother said a long time ago and I have always tried to live as closely to as possible. “Don’t give me flowers when I can no longer see or smell them, give them to me now”. I have tried to let the people that have an effect of my life and I on theirs know how I feel and love and I have tried wherever humanly possible to give them what would make them happy. Because of this when the time came for my mother to move on I had no regrets and neither did she, only love and appreciation of each other and the blessing that in this life at least her agony would be over.
Viv and I will face anything together and together we are a formidable team. For those of you who are not as fortunate as we are regarding family and friends, please take the offers of help that are afforded you because it makes your journey less stressful which in turn eases the pain.
Thank you all for being there for Viv.
AVRIL