Request for support

Hello, good morning to you

I came across your site when I was looking up more information about throat cancer

I am feeling really distraught at the moment as my fiance, who lives in New York, is currently undergoing treatment for throat cancer

Whilst I appreciate he is in the best place I feel so bad that I can’t be at his side and just don’t know what to do to keep upbeat and be supportive to him and his family

I know I probably have no right to contact you like this, but I am really at my wits end and I feel that I need a little support too. I spent all day yesterday crying as it was his first day of treatment (radiotherapy and his 1st session of chemo) and he stayed in hospital for the day/night

I was going to go out and be with him, but with the price of fuel etc, flights from UK are so expensive, he said, no baby, we can’t afford it, we will see each other at Christmas as arranged

I just want to be a help to him and not be a drain on him, so I am trying to be upbeat when we speak, but fall apart after I have put the phone down

Luckily I am back at work next week and get so busy I don’t have time to think about anything except work, but I sm still worried as I care and love him so much

Any ideas that may help me therefore to help him?

Thank you so very much for your time and patience

Viv’s response

Hello K,

I am truly sorry to hear about your fiancé.

There is no easy solution to any of these situations. Please remember I’m not a Doctor, nor do I have any training to assist anybody at times such as this.

It is absolutely essential that he does what ever his specialists tell him to do and some. If you read through my daily diaries, I list all the things that was suggested to me and the extra things that my Wife did for me. All the vitamins, creams to protect the skin, saliva assisted jells and bucket loads of fresh carrot juice.

I can only offer you assistance from my own personal experiences. I had 8 weeks of radiotherapy but not the Chemo, so this is something I can not offer any advice on.

All I know is that your Fiancé is going to need all the love and support of his Family and friends that you can give him.

If there is any way that you can get over to the States, then I’d strongly suggest it. He does not realise just yet, but he is going to need your love and support next him in the next few weeks. Seven or eight weeks out of your life is not a long time, if it’s going to help save your Fiancés life.

Above all you have to be strong and confident in his company, reassuring and just being with him will make all the difference.

I wish I could be more constructive, but your situation is a little different to mine. My Wife was by my side every minute of the day.

What ever you do, be POSITIVE, he will make it.

My thoughts are with you all and may your God be with with you.



3 thoughts on “Request for support

  1. Hello K,

    I’m busy updating the site after a long long silence and I came across your earlier posting.

    If you’re still checking this site and I hope you are, how are things going with your Fiance and yourself?

    I sincerely hope that he has made positive progress, please let me know.



  2. please help my husband was diagnosed w/stage 3 n-1 throat cancer 2/10/10. He completed 7 wks radiation and chemo on May 25 2010. All the Dr. s said his pain should be gradually declining but it is not . He was on liquid morphine but that stopped working so now he is on 3 2mg dilauldid every 3 hours. His tumor is gone and pet scan came back clean. Any thoughts or insight?

  3. Good day to you Viv,

    My name is Rhonda. My stepdad, Dee is has been going through throat cancer for nearly 3 years now. Each year gets worse and worse. He is a Navy Veteran that during his active duty days, lost his left leg below the knee. He has dealt with that ,along with other things in his life.

    He has never had kids, except I consider him my dad…he is a very special person. Animals and kids flock to him. He is a quiet calm subdo easy going for the most part of a person. He and my mom have always volunteered time and money to charities. In fact, this recent past December 2012, they both went on a toy biker’s run in FL.

    I truly feel that he received inadejacate care at MD Anderson of Orlando,FL. His surgeon I feel made a very bad mistake and cause further health complications. Thus, recently just up and quit at MD Anderson with no notice. My dad when he has complications, the ER at the hospital act baffled to what to do? Overall, his voice has been taken, and now faced with a feeding tube the rest of his life? He will not be able to continue some of the alternative healing stuff that has increased his path to better health considering.

    My mom has been his one and only caretaker, but has bi-polar disorder and sometimes is not good to be around. I fear for both of them and feel guilty because I live so far away. Neither want to give up their so called freedom of living on their own. They like their own space etc. Any advise and thank you very much!


    Rhonda Besst of TX

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